Hey there! This is TOP episode 299. The Real Source of Unshakable Confidence
You read English. You understand English. You’ve been learning for years, but when it’s time to speak—your mind just freezes, and the words don’t come out. If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. I’ve been exactly where you are. I’m Ola Mierniczak, and this is the Teacher Ola Podcast. I’m here to help you finally speak out loud—the words, the ideas, the English that have been stuck in your head for too long. This isn’t about perfect grammar or fancy vocabulary. This is about your voice. Your words. Your real English.
Imagine walking into any room, anywhere in the world, and feeling totally comfortable speaking English. No shaky hands, no nervous voice – just confidence. Sounds impossible? You might think that confidence comes after certificates, courses, and grammar drills – but what if I told you that’s not true?
In today’s episode, we’re breaking down the real reason you don’t feel confident speaking English… and it has nothing to do with your vocabulary or grammar. Let’s talk about where real, unshakable confidence comes from – and how you can start building it today.
Before we get into today’s episode, just a quick note.
If you feel like you’ve done enough courses, watched enough videos, and memorised enough words, but still hesitate to speak, maybe it’s time for a different method. In Voice Loop, you won’t sit and study. You’ll speak. Each week, you join real conversations in a small group. Between sessions, you stay active with short daily voice tasks that help you get used to saying things out loud. That’s how you stop overthinking and start using the language without second-guessing yourself. Without waiting for a perfect moment.
If that sounds like something you need, visit teacherola.com/voice to join the next round. It starts on the 22 July and we’ll be meeting weekly on Tuesdays at 8:45 am.
Alright, let’s begin.
Imagine you walk into any room in the entire world and no matter who’s in there you feel comfortable. Imagine you can walk up to a complete stranger and start a conversation effortlessly. No hesitation, no self-doubt. No sweaty hands or trembling voice.
You might think that such a level of confidence comes from achievements. From certificates. You might think that if you get that certification in English that will be the day when your confidence shows up. Or the day when your grammar is spotless. Or the day when you know so much vocabulary, you can hold any conversation on any topic. So! Let me walk you through this once again. First you learn grammar and words, you buy courses, 1:1 lessons, ebooks, apps and so on to learn as much as you can. Then you imagine, naturally you start speaking and everybody notices that. They give you compliments, they say things like: “Wow, Ana’s English is really great, she’s put into it so much effort into it, she’s great”. Of course certificates give you taht pat on the back and a sense of accomplishment. But that sense of accomplishment can also stem from finished courses, books read, seasons watched. You feel you have done something, something measurable and that should give you confidence to speak. Right? Right?
So why, why is that not your reality? How come you still don’t communicate the way you should? Why oh why do you still feel crappy about your spoken English? The thing is that compliments and accomplishments do not give you confidence. Actually! On the contrary they can do something opposite. They can wake up an imposter syndrome in you. It’s when you receive a compliment but deep inside you have a feeling you are a liar! You feel like an impostor, like a fraud, like somebody who is dishonest because you and only you know you are not a confident English speaker. The certificates, the tests, your level, it’s all a big, fat lie. And the moment you open your mouth everybody will notice. That’s your fear.
What if you focused on self-esteem? Let’s talk about self-esteem for a while, shall we? Self-esteem is your own reputation, your own opinion of yourself. See where I’m going? It cannot be built with external blocks. Compliments, certificates cannot build your self-esteem.
There is not much you can do to build your self-esteem when we speak about traditional learning. Learning grammar and vocabulary. Passive knowledge of English, the one that can be tested, will never bring you high self-esteem. If you are not happy with your English, if you don’t appreciate your skill, nothing can change it. Nothing that comes from outside. Confidence is strongly connected with that self-esteem that’s why you can’t feel confident. It’s low self-esteem, it’s low opinion of your speaking skills.
What about comparing yourself to other people? It should work, right? You are better. You can listen to podcasts in English, read in English, others can be so jealous of what you’ve achieved. But there’s a problem too. Whenever you’re in the company of someone who can speak better or with more fluency, with better pronunciation, better intonation your self-esteem is immediately thrown out the window. Compering to other can give you a sort of a boost but in the long run it makes things worse. Comparing yourself to others is just another form of looking for proof that you are good at English outside.
What is the right way then? How to achieve a realistic, solid and long-lasting, consistent self-esteem that will in turn give you an unshakable confidence? Unshakable confidence comes from one thing: from doing the right thing. It comes from doing the right thing.
You might think that in every speaking situation you have to be quick, fluent, correct, precise and so on. In other words, you think that being a perfect, ideal English speaker is what is expected from you. Smooth small talk, being talkative and all smiles. You have very high expectations of yourself. I’m sorry to break it to you but this is not confidence, that only shows how low self-esteem you have. True self-esteem is doing the right thing, and when you speak English the right thing is: expressing yourself, connecting with people, delivering the message, starting a conversation, keeping the conversation going, so if you do the right thing you grow your self-esteem.
Now I’d like you to think about it and discover your way. I mean, how do you find that validation? Does it come from compliments? Does it come from not making any mistakes? Where is it? Perfectionism? If your self-esteem is based on external factors you can’t become a confident speaker of English. Next, think about better ways. Internal ways of finding that high self-esteem. You need to do the right thing. What does it mean in your case? Speaking up during that meeting at work? Booking a flight for a city break? Find ways you can start doing the right thing. Talking to people.
When you see for yourself that you speak English, communicate with people, start conversations and so on you will become unshakeable. You will become so confident in your speaking skills you will speak up at any occasion. You will ask for help, you will give directions, you will travel with pleasure, feel immense satisfaction, you will change your job and do all those things you have on your mind. It’s all within your reach, but you have to change the way you grow your self-esteem.
I hope it helps! If you feel you need to take a step and join my speaking experience with a group of 3 other people, just complete the form. The new group meetings take place on Tuesdays, the programme is called Voice Loop and it starts on 22 July 8:45 in the morning. It’s called Voice Loop because you are in the loop. It means that every day you receive a task that pushes you to send a voice message and receive my feedback, day by day for 5 weeks. Imagine what can happen with your English in the next 35 days of daily practice. Plus on Tuesdays at 8:45 am you speak for one hour with your speaking partners. Links are in the description, or simply visit: teacherola.com/voice .
Let’s practice! Listen to these sentences and repeat them out loud:
I don’t feel comfortable speaking to strangers.
I wish I could start a conversation without overthinking.
Compliments don’t make me feel like a good speaker.
Sometimes I feel like an impostor when I speak English.
I focus too much on grammar and vocabulary.
I compare myself to other people all the time.
Learning more doesn’t help me speak better.
I want to express myself clearly.
Speaking is not about being perfect.
I need to focus on doing the right thing.
If you feel stuck, it’s not because you don’t know enough. It’s because you’re waiting for proof that you’re good enough. Stop waiting. Start speaking. That’s how you build trust in yourself.
That’s what we do inside Voice Loop. Small group sessions, real practice, daily speaking, and regular feedback, all designed to help you finally use your English without second-guessing yourself.
Join at teacherola.com/voice.
And grab your free worksheet at teacherola.com/299.
That’s it for today. Thank you for listening!
I’ll see you next time. I believe in you. Stay fearless, take care, and say it out loud!
I’m Teacher Ola, and you’ve been listening to the Teacher Ola Podcast.
Bye for now!